thoughts on a summer night

Today was a good day with some moments I want to remember. 

I went to get coffee with my neighbor Rachel this afternoon, and afterwards we decided to check on one of our ESL students we haven't seen in a while. We entered her apartment, cooed over her sweet grand baby, and sat down on the sofa with the baby as she left to make us tea. Little Aissh started fussing pretty quickly, and his grandma came in to rescue him. We listened from the living room as she used a sing-song voice to keep him happy while she made tea. I know only a bit on Nepali, but I could tell she was singing about what she was doing because I kept hearing the words for "tea", "milk, and "sugar". It was happy, engaging and full of love. It was beautiful. And I was struck by how similar it is to the way we keep our babies happy while we are in the kitchen. Some things are truly the same in every culture.

Bishnu and Aish coming out of the kitchen together.

Once I got home, we decided to pack a picnic and head up north to a park on the riverfront. The boys brought their bikes, and we had bubbles and frisbees. Ezra is still new on 2 wheels, but he did such a great job. Lois loved walking around in the grass, chasing her brothers and trying to pick up the bubbles on the lawn. I loved being outside together as a family, and everyone else did too. I think we need more green space in our life!

Drew, Lois and Oliver by the river. Ezra's too far ahead to see!

Finally tonight, after the kids were in bed, I drove down a street near my house for the first time. I was looking for a newly constructed home one of our friends just bought, but I couldn't find it. I did pass several families enjoying a summer evening outside, though. It's one of the best thing about a neighborhood full of front porches. One house was impossible not to notice. There were two small tables and one really long table filling up their entire front yard--each with tablecloths. I think there were easily 30 people enjoying Sunday dinner together as a family on the lawn. I loved it--it reminded me of something in a movie. I wanted to stop and watch them, but that would have been creepy. I'll have to remember to take a walk down that street on a Sunday sometime...

I am thankful for these moments that so frequently make up my afternoons and weekends. There are some great things about where we live! :)

A happier January 29th

We've had a hard week. Hospitalizations, stitches and the dreaded stomach bug have swept us off our feet. Looking back a year ago in my journal, life wasn't any easier then. So TWO years ago, there is a bit of redemption. I hope you can guess who my boys were trying to imitate! (Oliver is 6, and Ezra is 3 here.)

Nonnie's Heaven Day

August 8, 2011. Nonnie's 81st birthday dinner at mom and dad's house.

I am remembering my sweet grandmother today. She went to be with Jesus a year ago.  I miss her voice and her touch, the way she was always hunting for things, her thoughtful gifts and delicious cakes. I smile when I remember how she always had cookies on hand (we weren't even allowed inside if she didn't), her "special drawer" where she kept books and trinkets she gave the boys when they visited, and the countless hours I spent sitting on my chair in her family room. She took great care to make sure we knew how much we were loved, and she was so proud of us.

Nonnie loved dogs, reading, our family's history, and baking cakes. She was constantly serving veterans, new citizens and friends through one of her many groups. I hope I am like her in those ways---caring deeply about those closest to me, and being intentional about serving those who are sometimes forgotten.

Nonnie's last weeks and days are hard to think about, but really beautiful at the same time. She was so careful to give us special things to remember her by, and I loved the times I had sitting by her bed and holding her hand. One evening near the end, Lois and I were visiting her. She had her eyes closed all evening, when suddenly she opened them and said, "Oh! How nice to see you both. Lois is beautiful. I love you so!" I can still hear her voice--it was the same one she used to read stories to me as a girl.

Family is such a precious gift, and I often fail to realize the significance of those relationships in day to day life. My poppy is still with us, and I cherish the time I get to spend with him. I wish I had a photo of him, Ezra, Lois and I on one of our Friday lunch dates. We are a hoot together!

Thankful--a month of photos!

My heart is so full as I remember all God has done for me and my family this year. It has been a huge year with several transitions: moving across town, recovering from surgery, becoming a working mom, and of course doing life with a baby! But I am thankful for many smaller moments, too: friendships my boys have made, people in our home, Lois' smile and sweet baby ways, time with my Poppy, growing relationships in my neighborhood. Here are some of the moments in the last month that I want to remember.

Ezra and Poppy--lunch buddies at Andres.

Celebrating fall birthdays with chicken sandwiches and go-karts.

Halloween with my little sock monkey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making momos with neighborhood friends.

Celebrating God's goodness to Mission Adelante with friends at the Passion Awards (and first time in a sari)!

More momo-making at our Mission Adelante house party.

Lois taking her first steps--just before she turned 13 months. So fun!

Meeting Mani's sweet baby girl.

Being thankful with Ezra's kindergarten class.

Sister Cousins

My sister and I were both pregnant last year--she was due in October, and I was in December. What was even more special was that her due date was my birthday--October 3rd. When her little girl Mercy was born right on time, I was thrilled. She was absolutely beautiful, and I knew we were going to have a special connection for the rest of our lives. Drew and I didn't know whether our baby was a boy or girl, but we thought it would be fun to have a cousin so close in age. Holding sweet Mercy, I remember feeling like it would be a long time before I got to meet our little one.

It was a lot shorter than I expected! My water broke one year ago today, and I spent two days in the hospital trying to slow down labor. In the middle of the night on October 19th, I had an emergency c-section. I remember feeling anxious about all the unknowns with a premature birth, peace that God was with me and was going to take care of me, and absolute job when I heard, "It's a girl!"

The first few hours of Lois's life are a blur to me, but I remember she was so tiny. Three pounds, eleven ounces tiny. The smallest baby I had ever seen. I couldn't snuggle with her or even hold her for many hours, but she was healthier than we thought she'd be.

After three weeks in the NICU, I was anxious for my little Lois to meet Mercy. Page came to visit us one day, and we took pictures of them side by side. Mercy was a healthy, average sized baby, but she looked huge compared to 4 pound Lois.

Look at the two of them now! They got matching riding toys--the pinkest things I've ever seen. :) Mercy is definitely further along developmentally--walking and climbing everywhere. But Lois has cerrtainly caught up in size. She even looks bigger in this photo. 

I call them sister-cousins, though I'm not really sure why. Neither of them has a sister, and I think it's special that they are only 16 days apart. It will be so much fun to watch them grow up together, and I will look forward to lots of special birthday memories with them. There's a lot to celebrate in October!

Upside Down Kingdom

It was my turn to write for the Adelante Express blog this week, and I shared about my experiences this summer. I thought I'd post it here to collect my writing in one place. I don't know who all reads Mission Adelante's blog, but I know there's a lot more readers there than here. I'm still getting used to writing for a larger audience. It feels funny to share myself with people I don't know. It seems like every time I turn around, there's a new experience to stretch me! Growing is hard work, but I am thankful for the opportunity to process and share what God's been doing in my life this season.

Mon Maya Rai, the matriarch of our local Bhutanese house church, has been praying for my eye all summer. Her prayers and constant concern have blessed me deeply. I call her "Ama" (mom) and she calls me "Churi" (daughter). I love that the Bhutanese welcome people into their families so easily!

God’s kingdom is truly upside down. Last year, our family spent lots of time, energy and money to move to the Mission Adelante neighborhood and serve Bhutanese refugees. We finally settled down in March, and I was looking forward to diving into relationships with our neighbors. As I prayed about where to start and how best to serve, a mentor encouraged me to wait at God’s doorstep (Proverbs 8:34-35). Positioning myself near to His heart would ultimately be the best way to serve others.

So I did. And I was led to take small steps. A few neighbor kids started spending time with us after school, and we made plans for summer fun with them. I was excited to take them swimming and to the park, and to go on walks with some of my ESL students. Summer was going to be a season of diving deeper into life here, and I was ready.

The first weekend after school got out, I broke my foot (just walking barefoot in my house!). I knew it would slow me down, but I prayed God would heal me quickly, so I could still take the kids swimming and such. A few days later at a routine eye exam, my doctor discovered that my retina was detached. I would need emergency surgery--the kind that comes with a significant recovery period.

I was down for the count. And really frustrated. How was I going to take care of my three kids--let alone serve others--if I couldn’t walk, drive or even see straight? But God still had plans for my summer. I was surprised by all the ways I saw His concern for me through those I thought I was supposed to be taking care of.

My missional family (those of us living in the neighborhood to serve the Bhutanese), co-workers, volunteers and even my ESL students blessed me again and again. They brought meals, prayed for me and with me, walked my baby girl, and sat with me while I was home bound. Our Bhutanese house-church members and several ESL students prayed for my healing. Even now, they commonly ask me how my eye is doing. Their concern was real, and God listened to their prayers. It's been about a month since my foot finished healing, and my eye is doing better than anyone expected--I am so grateful.

How humbling. And how beautiful. We come to God ready to give what we think we have, and then he turns it around and lets us receive His love and grace afresh. His kingdom doesn’t work the way we think it should--it’s so much better than that. The relationships that form from serving at Mission Adelante really do result in sharing life with each other and growing His kingdom--His way, not ours. And positioning ourselves at His doorstep is always a good way to begin.

urban schools

The kids and I went to watch a friend play volleyball at the neighborhood middle school yesterday. Then tonight I watched a PBS special on urban schools while holding my not-so-sleepy little one. It's got urban public schools on my mind.

I don't think I had ever been inside an urban school before yesterday. It was different. I think the boys noticed it, too. But it was also the same in many ways. Binders scattered on gym risers, girlfriends talking, boys goofing off, cheerleaders shouting, popcorn on the floor. But there were no parents cheering the on the team. And the shoes most players wore could barely qualify as athletic. And there were very few white people around...just teachers, as far as I could tell. As I watched the kids near me, the girls cooing over Lois, one girl changing seats every few minutes to sit by different friends, I identified with them. They are middle school kids, just like I was a long time ago. But they have so much more weight to carry in life.

The opposing team had a wicked serve, and our team lost. But I am so glad our friend is playing--she really enjoys being on a team. That's just one of the things I assumed everyone gets to do. Our Bhutanese friends don't. We took a couple of boys to watch Ezra play soccer last weekend. They had a great time, but I heard one of them saying, "I never played on a team. I heard it cost $20. I want to play sometime." I want him to play, too.

We send our kids to a private school. A great school. And I am so thankful we have the opportunity and means to do that. But tonight, I am imagining what would it be like to go to the local school? How would my kids do? Would it make a difference? There are so many hurting kids.

God has been using small, every day experiences to open my eyes more to the world around me. To see individual faces instead of newspaper headlines, to put skin on the problems I've always read about. It's uncomfortable sometimes, and it exposes my naivete. It's humbling.

I feel so full just trying to take care of my family, and love my friends. I feel like I really can't do much to make a difference. But we have made a few new friends since moving to this neighborhood--five kids and the beginnings of friendship with a couple adults. I pray God can do big things with my little things--that just doing life nearby, including them where I can, and loving them well will somehow reflect God's great love for them. I think that's what He asks me to do.