Thankful--a month of photos!

My heart is so full as I remember all God has done for me and my family this year. It has been a huge year with several transitions: moving across town, recovering from surgery, becoming a working mom, and of course doing life with a baby! But I am thankful for many smaller moments, too: friendships my boys have made, people in our home, Lois' smile and sweet baby ways, time with my Poppy, growing relationships in my neighborhood. Here are some of the moments in the last month that I want to remember.

Ezra and Poppy--lunch buddies at Andres.

Celebrating fall birthdays with chicken sandwiches and go-karts.

Halloween with my little sock monkey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making momos with neighborhood friends.

Celebrating God's goodness to Mission Adelante with friends at the Passion Awards (and first time in a sari)!

More momo-making at our Mission Adelante house party.

Lois taking her first steps--just before she turned 13 months. So fun!

Meeting Mani's sweet baby girl.

Being thankful with Ezra's kindergarten class.

Sister Cousins

My sister and I were both pregnant last year--she was due in October, and I was in December. What was even more special was that her due date was my birthday--October 3rd. When her little girl Mercy was born right on time, I was thrilled. She was absolutely beautiful, and I knew we were going to have a special connection for the rest of our lives. Drew and I didn't know whether our baby was a boy or girl, but we thought it would be fun to have a cousin so close in age. Holding sweet Mercy, I remember feeling like it would be a long time before I got to meet our little one.

It was a lot shorter than I expected! My water broke one year ago today, and I spent two days in the hospital trying to slow down labor. In the middle of the night on October 19th, I had an emergency c-section. I remember feeling anxious about all the unknowns with a premature birth, peace that God was with me and was going to take care of me, and absolute job when I heard, "It's a girl!"

The first few hours of Lois's life are a blur to me, but I remember she was so tiny. Three pounds, eleven ounces tiny. The smallest baby I had ever seen. I couldn't snuggle with her or even hold her for many hours, but she was healthier than we thought she'd be.

After three weeks in the NICU, I was anxious for my little Lois to meet Mercy. Page came to visit us one day, and we took pictures of them side by side. Mercy was a healthy, average sized baby, but she looked huge compared to 4 pound Lois.

Look at the two of them now! They got matching riding toys--the pinkest things I've ever seen. :) Mercy is definitely further along developmentally--walking and climbing everywhere. But Lois has cerrtainly caught up in size. She even looks bigger in this photo. 

I call them sister-cousins, though I'm not really sure why. Neither of them has a sister, and I think it's special that they are only 16 days apart. It will be so much fun to watch them grow up together, and I will look forward to lots of special birthday memories with them. There's a lot to celebrate in October!

Upside Down Kingdom

It was my turn to write for the Adelante Express blog this week, and I shared about my experiences this summer. I thought I'd post it here to collect my writing in one place. I don't know who all reads Mission Adelante's blog, but I know there's a lot more readers there than here. I'm still getting used to writing for a larger audience. It feels funny to share myself with people I don't know. It seems like every time I turn around, there's a new experience to stretch me! Growing is hard work, but I am thankful for the opportunity to process and share what God's been doing in my life this season.

Mon Maya Rai, the matriarch of our local Bhutanese house church, has been praying for my eye all summer. Her prayers and constant concern have blessed me deeply. I call her "Ama" (mom) and she calls me "Churi" (daughter). I love that the Bhutanese welcome people into their families so easily!

God’s kingdom is truly upside down. Last year, our family spent lots of time, energy and money to move to the Mission Adelante neighborhood and serve Bhutanese refugees. We finally settled down in March, and I was looking forward to diving into relationships with our neighbors. As I prayed about where to start and how best to serve, a mentor encouraged me to wait at God’s doorstep (Proverbs 8:34-35). Positioning myself near to His heart would ultimately be the best way to serve others.

So I did. And I was led to take small steps. A few neighbor kids started spending time with us after school, and we made plans for summer fun with them. I was excited to take them swimming and to the park, and to go on walks with some of my ESL students. Summer was going to be a season of diving deeper into life here, and I was ready.

The first weekend after school got out, I broke my foot (just walking barefoot in my house!). I knew it would slow me down, but I prayed God would heal me quickly, so I could still take the kids swimming and such. A few days later at a routine eye exam, my doctor discovered that my retina was detached. I would need emergency surgery--the kind that comes with a significant recovery period.

I was down for the count. And really frustrated. How was I going to take care of my three kids--let alone serve others--if I couldn’t walk, drive or even see straight? But God still had plans for my summer. I was surprised by all the ways I saw His concern for me through those I thought I was supposed to be taking care of.

My missional family (those of us living in the neighborhood to serve the Bhutanese), co-workers, volunteers and even my ESL students blessed me again and again. They brought meals, prayed for me and with me, walked my baby girl, and sat with me while I was home bound. Our Bhutanese house-church members and several ESL students prayed for my healing. Even now, they commonly ask me how my eye is doing. Their concern was real, and God listened to their prayers. It's been about a month since my foot finished healing, and my eye is doing better than anyone expected--I am so grateful.

How humbling. And how beautiful. We come to God ready to give what we think we have, and then he turns it around and lets us receive His love and grace afresh. His kingdom doesn’t work the way we think it should--it’s so much better than that. The relationships that form from serving at Mission Adelante really do result in sharing life with each other and growing His kingdom--His way, not ours. And positioning ourselves at His doorstep is always a good way to begin.

urban schools

The kids and I went to watch a friend play volleyball at the neighborhood middle school yesterday. Then tonight I watched a PBS special on urban schools while holding my not-so-sleepy little one. It's got urban public schools on my mind.

I don't think I had ever been inside an urban school before yesterday. It was different. I think the boys noticed it, too. But it was also the same in many ways. Binders scattered on gym risers, girlfriends talking, boys goofing off, cheerleaders shouting, popcorn on the floor. But there were no parents cheering the on the team. And the shoes most players wore could barely qualify as athletic. And there were very few white people around...just teachers, as far as I could tell. As I watched the kids near me, the girls cooing over Lois, one girl changing seats every few minutes to sit by different friends, I identified with them. They are middle school kids, just like I was a long time ago. But they have so much more weight to carry in life.

The opposing team had a wicked serve, and our team lost. But I am so glad our friend is playing--she really enjoys being on a team. That's just one of the things I assumed everyone gets to do. Our Bhutanese friends don't. We took a couple of boys to watch Ezra play soccer last weekend. They had a great time, but I heard one of them saying, "I never played on a team. I heard it cost $20. I want to play sometime." I want him to play, too.

We send our kids to a private school. A great school. And I am so thankful we have the opportunity and means to do that. But tonight, I am imagining what would it be like to go to the local school? How would my kids do? Would it make a difference? There are so many hurting kids.

God has been using small, every day experiences to open my eyes more to the world around me. To see individual faces instead of newspaper headlines, to put skin on the problems I've always read about. It's uncomfortable sometimes, and it exposes my naivete. It's humbling.

I feel so full just trying to take care of my family, and love my friends. I feel like I really can't do much to make a difference. But we have made a few new friends since moving to this neighborhood--five kids and the beginnings of friendship with a couple adults. I pray God can do big things with my little things--that just doing life nearby, including them where I can, and loving them well will somehow reflect God's great love for them. I think that's what He asks me to do.

A crazy evening

I think I will add to my gratitude list from last time. I have had several opportunities to get frustrated this weekend. But I also have had sweet moments of remembering the truth--His mercy covers so much.

This is what I am thankful for tonight:

• My baby girl is sleeping sweetly on my lap (even if she won't sleep in bed!) 
• Ezra made it to the toilet when he threw up. 
• He praised Jesus so genuinely when he started to feel better. 
• I still get to read Winnie the Pooh aloud. 
• Oliver showed true kindness to his brother and was helpful to me. 
• Unexpected time with God's word. 
• I definitely have not been bored with drew gone tonight! 

The song playing now is called "Words to Build a Life On" by Mike Crawford. It's about the beatitudes and the way God's kingdom is often upside down. I'm praying and believing that God is actively working in me as I practice letting many things go right now--making things new and beautiful and whole. He loves me. He really does. I am glad about that.

Practicing gratitude

Look, my eye opens well and is more pink than red!

One month ago, I fell and both sprained my ankle and broke my foot. Three days later at my regular eye exam, my doctor discovered I had a detached retina. The next day, I had major eye surgery. I haven't done much else since. :)

I want to say I've spent lots of time reflecting and have deep thoughts about this season in my life. I want to share all the ways I've grown. I can't because I don't really know yet. I trust God knows what he is doing and that he is strong enough to care for me and my family. Our little family is learning Romans 5:1-5 together. The Message version is my favorite. I love knowing that God is there, wanting me to step into his grace when things get tough. I need to know that he takes trouble and builds good things with it.

I have been trying to practice gratitude when I start to get grumpy about what I can't do. Here's a short list of what I'm thankful for:

• drew....he really has been superman: parenting, eye-dropping, cleaning, shuttling and even braving the grocery store on my behalf.
• our parents--especially the fun summer memories they are giving the boys
• that Lois can't crawl yet
• drop-ins by sweet neighbors. I have definitely not felt lonely.
• MEALS!
• amazon prime :)
• good friends
• that I can see functionally now, and that I will eventually see clearly
• that bones heal
• my porch swing

I'm healing well and expect to be out and about soon. It's a good feeling. I'm starting to think about the fun summer things I want to do in the weeks to come!